The First Music

by Auditorium

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02:29
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01:57
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00:57
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01:36
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04:28

credits

released January 27, 2017

all instruments/vocals by Spencer Berger

written, recorded, and mixed by Spencer Berger
mastered by Pete Lyman, Infrasonic Mastering
album cover by Will Baker

mgmt: stk@royalarmsmgmt.com & ajb@royalarmsmgmt.com

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Auditorium Los Angeles, California

Spencer Berger makes music and puts it here.

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Track Name: Mt. Moriah
Ancient police
They’re taking your older brother back
They’re decking the stack
Are you going where the good ones win
Waving your freak-out flag
Are you waiting for radar and leaves
They’re always the ones I count on least
They ripped up your jeans
Are you breaking down a final court
Cooling your skin by force
Are you noting the garden I seized
I took out the lamb that stole your hat
I crippled the bat
I was moving with electric rings
Trading each bite for stings
I was counting on angles and grease
To give me the signal to release
The sycamore’s keys
Are you climbing up a redwood wall
Daring that smoke to fall
Are you kicking with ancient police
They’re taking your older brother back
They’re decking the stack
Are you going where the good ones win
Waving your freak-out flag
Are you facing the season that seemed
To be seven years of only lean
Well, this is your theme
For you champions on a far-off slope
Know that this jaw’s not broke
There’s a dad I saw all alone
All alone
Calling Mt. Moriah on the telephone
All alone
All alone
Calling Mt. Moriah on the telephone
Why, ancient police, there’s no hero left for your knives
Track Name: My Grandfather Could Make the World Dance
My grandfather
He could make the world dance
With a smile he could light up any life
I know I’m lucky that I knew him at all
But on a night like this
It would be nice to know the secret of the way he smiled
I like to think that he could teach me, and I’d learn
But you can’t teach love, and so I
Want to go where the people know me
I want to sing where they already know my song
But if my grandfather was here with me
He would tell me that the song I’m singing’s wrong
He’d remind me that the greatest joy
Is bringing hope into a stranger’s eyes, and then
Calling them your friend, and so I
Look at all of the angry people
I look at them and I break
Because I know if more people only learned that smile
If no reason was enough to seal your mind
I know it’s not as if we’d all happy
But if the cost is kindness, just give in

He would call you friend

My grandmother says
That she told him that she’d never marry again
But his eyes just twinkled and he said:

“Dance, dance, dance, dance, my baby
Dance, dance, dance, dance, your whole life long
Dance, dance, dance, dance, my baby
Dance, dance, dance, dance, your rhythm strong”

I keep getting older
But I’m aging to your heartbeat
Track Name: It's Only God, I Swear
The strangest words I’ve heard you sigh
Were on the day your true love died
You said:

“It’s only God. It’s only God. It’s only
God, I swear.”

I never dreamed I’d draw his stare
But now it seems I can’t hide anywhere
Oh no
He’s in your eyes
He haunts your cries
It’s only God, I swear

Oh, my dear, I get lonely without you
I get so down, yes I get so down, that I get so scared
I spend all my days singing about you
Singing till I’m numb, ripping out my lungs
Wondering if you’re there

You gave the trees
I’d give my knees
I’d give you anything you wanted
All I want is what I need

It’s only God, I swear

I keep hoping I’ll change
But there’s nothing I can do
Life is what I lived when I had you
Track Name: Perfume Drinker
Every morning
There sounds a warning
Telling me that I can’t take what’s mine
But I have a teacher, and I believe her
She says that my grades are built to shine

Not a cloud in sight
This day might still be mine

I was down in the men’s room
Drinking your perfume
Spinning while the waiter served you wine
He was a boyfriend
Someone she loved when she had yet to meet the man
Whose mind tricked all the doctors
Bribed all the proctors
Celebrated while the natives signed

I am emotion
Behold my devotion
It’s 5’10” with a wicked curve

Not a cloud in sight
This day might still be mine
Not a cloud in sight
You see this day might still be, it will be mine

Now please, sun, prove it to me
Sun, give it to me
Sun, show ‘em how you’re only warm for me
(It’s just an ordinary evil of mine)
Now see, sun, say, “I’m only”
Sun, say, “I’m every”
Sun, you better promise you won’t set on me

I know beauty has a window
See, I broke it just to drink you
Track Name: Ten Ton Park
Ten ton soldiers ripping up boulders
Take me to the park
I give you
Eight pound shoulders, holy joke rollers
Pound me on the back
I leave you
Three charms
Lets put ‘em on
Prairie dog searchlights
My favorite wand
I’m casting out five man bird songs
Hologram headlongs
Whistling “The Western Wide-eye”
Six man steel drums banging out pilgrims
Clocking out at 5 of 5
Now when I say, “Go”
You better break, break, break
Break for Abraham
And when I say, “No”
You better fake, fake, fake
Fake your weaker hand
Four fine wheel-backs
Glowing like Ajax
Lifting up the eastern skyline
Fifteen fingers mother delivered
Waiting to be soaked in lime
I tried stone
It was richer
It was thicker than I want to be
So I tried bone
It was rhythm
It was given
It was part of me
Ten ton soldiers ripping up boulders
Take me to the park
I give you
Here I go
Maybe I was there
Maybe I’m the plan
I was leasing your chance
I was moving my force below
I was coming around
Everyone I grew was here
My state tree
Take me to the park
It’s mine
Track Name: Fire Fire Ocean Liner
Rock and rollers, raise your hands
The President wants to join your band
He’s only played for a year or two
But he’s already so much better than you

I’m no prophet
I’m no sage
But it don’t take one to feel all your rage
I’ve heard speeches for nights
But I built that stage
So hand me the mic
Turn the lights on bright
And I’ll show you all how freedom rings

I got one dead arm and one dead leg
But I’ll keep dragging both until I’m dead
I don’t long for pity
I don’t need revenge
No, like a captain might
Who has lost his fight
But been saved while his great love sank beneath
I pray:

Fire fire ocean liner
It’s okay to sink my dear
Someday, one day, I’ll be with you
Feel no pain now
Feel no fear

One June twilight
I strolled through the neighborhood where I met you
I looked into our window
Where a family moved the air we shared

And as I watched what I almost had
I dreamt the stripes came off that flag
And wrapped their arms around my back
And lifted me so high
That I had to try
To reach the stars they’d tried to flee

I saw all the friends I’d ever have
Oh, the land stretched out like Pharaoh’s hand
And though I knew I’d never understand the plan
There wasn’t one thing I saw beneath that sky
That made me give up on my peace
I prayed:

Fire fire ocean liner
It’s okay to sink my dear
Someday, one day, I’ll be with you
Know that I am marching towards you
Chanting the last words I told you
Feel no pain now
Feel no fear
Feel no pain now
Feel no fear
Track Name: I Came Prepared
I'm so scared
But oh, I came prepared

The world shakes
It always takes me a long time
To prove I’m steady
But I say bring it down on me
All your days and nights
I’ve been waiting
Standing square
Where have you been?
I’m right here

Yes, I came prepared
I came prepared
Oh god, I’m scared
But I came prepared
Track Name: My Uncle's Tree
I’ve heard said that sadness is
The hardest thing to bend
But I think hope is harder
It’s the one thing I can’t end
I can build a steeple
I can climb my uncle’s tree
But I can’t shake this feeling
That there’s more that I could be

I was once a legend, I could skip the farthest stone
But all the ones I skipped came back
They won’t leave me alone
They say I got promise
They say no limit but sky
But most of them have never had the spit to even try

It’s better to never know
That you could reach what’s far
Than fail after the foreign touch
Of what you really are
I can build a steeple
I can climb my uncle’s tree
But I can’t shake this feeling
That there’s more that I could be
Track Name: Never Wrote a Diver a Poem
Choose me…choose me...

Never wrote a diver a poem
Never killed a candle in a poet’s home
Never let a digger retire
Never helped a builder learn the dirt’s a liar

Perfection, I’m giving you up
Selection, I’m begging you reward my trust

I’ve learned “truly” is a word that inspires
“Hardly” is a word that I have long retired
“Every” is a word that I plead
“Kindly” is a word that makes me doubt my deeds

Protection, I’m giving you up
Correction, I’m stating that I’m right enough
If it’s direction that’s holding me up
Confession will be the lesson that I trust

Because once in a generation
They make someone like me for the licked to follow

Choose me…choose me...

Never wrote a diver a poem
I was only 18 when I learned they’d follow
Never wrote a diver a poem
I was only 18 when I learned they’d follow

I’ll reach back for you
You’ll be sharing my glory
I’ll reach back for you
You’ll be sharing soon
Everything I’d never do
Track Name: The Night Before I Turned Thirteen
On the night before I turned thirteen
I said some words before I went to sleep
I wasn’t sure what I believed
But they seemed right to me

So I said softly:
“Bless the good ones and please bless the weak
Tomorrow I swear I shall try and see
How very nearly perfect I can be”

I closed my eyes
And suddenly
It’s 1943
I’m in the snow
It’s night
You’re lying where they said you’d be
I place your hand in mine and say:
“You’re only just a few years older
They always say I have your eyes
I’ve always pictured you in black and white”

That makes you smile
Then, you say softly:
“Do you think that you could stay here with me
For even just a little while?”

I say:
“I’m here forever, I’m with you”

He says:
“Me too”

And suddenly
The night sinks down
It’s all around us
Years are screaming by
The morning comes
And then another
Still I’m holding tight
I still say words
Before I sleep
I’m still not sure what I believe
Now,
Sleep
Sleep
Sleep.
Track Name: I'm Home
Sometimes, when I can’t sleep
I go out in the moonlight
Tilt my head, raise arms, and spin around
Like The Rolling Stones, I keep going
Then, I turn and face my house
And try to believe that I can believe
But I can’t believe I’m home
Track Name: Nor'easter
It’s big
It’s dark
It’s terrible
It doesn’t seem to have an end
But you...you’re a beginning
So let’s make plans
Maybe form a band

There’s a split
There’s a sign
There’s a movement in the pines
There’s our warmth
There’s our hold
There’s our motto: “Fuck the cold”
They’re saying that the rain’s pure
12% more than they saw in ‘99
I say we get a 12-pack Saranac
And drink ‘em like they’re Northern Lights

It’s gonna be a long wait
But we won’t leave till the end
It’s gonna be a long wait
But we won’t leave till the end

Tell Pete
Tell your sister
Check this sermon I spoke
(Sugar, sugar, I go)
No words
No redeemer
Just a fever and smoke
(Sugar, sugar, I go)

It’s big
It’s dark
It’s terrible
But there’s still a chance
Track Name: Did Your Heart Shake Like This Song?
Mother and father, tell me true
When you first held each other’s hands and knew
That the hand you were holding was for you
Did your heart shake like this song?

When I spoke to my sister, she was wise
Said she trusted my heart but not my mind
So I put all my faith in blood and cried
And my heart shook like this song
Yes, my heart shook like this song

Oh, how am I ever gonna love you
If I do all of my living without giving it to you?

Look at my hands, they’re the hands of a preacher
Sure his sermon’s gonna change today
Look at my lips, they’re the lips of a dreamer
Free at last to say the words they’ve saved

I told her
“Come closer”

We stepped inside a memory
Flickering and old
We stepped inside an old room
We’d always known
Our parents on the left side
Brother on the right
My sister in the center saying, “Be bold”

And all of our nights will be nights worth living
And all of our songs will be songs worth singing
And all of our hopes will be hopes worth dreaming
And all of our lives I’ll be right there living

Let’s take our cue from truth
It’s hot in here
It’s hotter than an angel
Once we leave this room
It’s you and me
Let’s sing because we’re able to

Mother and father, tell me true
When you first held each other’s hands and knew
That the hand you were holding was for you
Did your heart shake like this song?

One day I’ll hold you
We’ll be old
All our years stretched behind us, full and bold
And we’ll speak of the night our song got told
Oh, we’ll hold each other long
While we both shake like our song
Track Name: The Nearsighted War Cry
I’ve been told my eyes
Can be fixed to see right
The whole wide world sharp as a knife
But I’ve spent my whole life stumbling fine
And you’ve no idea how well I see you
Look in my eyes
Are they focused on you?
Tell the truth
Lights go out
Your move

I’ve spent my whole life stumbling fine

What did I tell you?
I said I’d make it
What did I tell you?
I said I’d make it mine
What did I tell you?
I said I’d make it
What did I tell you?
I said I’d make it

I was right
Track Name: The Singer
The first music that was made
Was probably coming from a man in pain
Probably dreaming of a girl
Who ripped his whole heart open wide
Left him for the ages singing
But lonely

My god, I must confess
I look at the lights of Los Angeles
I look at the streets and I’m sure
That I’m not the first man
Who’s gone and sang this song
But since I started singing it I don’t feel lonely

True, I’m blowing my lines
True, I’m always claiming
That even if the words are wrong
The only thing that matters
Is nailing the feeling

I know I have to die
But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try
To fill the moments while I’m alive
With all the music I feel inside

When you’re around me, I’m alive

Hang on, children — we’re alive
Hang on, pilgrims — we’re alive
Hang on, seekers — we’re alive
Hang on, losers — we’re alive
Hang on, heartbreak — we’re alive
Hang on, sickness — we’re alive
Hang on, anger — we’re alive
Hang on, broken — we’re alive

Even a hundred years of pain’s worth this ride
Nine, ten breaths
I can’t believe I’ve even had one breath
That was all mine

I learned
When I was five
That I’d have an ending
No bow
No curtain call
No velvet descending

They said that all flesh had battled
But kid, the clocks clinched every war
I said, “Maybe I’ll be the one who can’t be ended
Maybe I’ll be the one who can not fall”

But as I grew
I slowly found myself aware for once and all
That I could not be helped
Yet, the strangest hope
Began to cloak me in my dreams
I could sense the darkness
I was in before I’d breathed
I was once the nothing
And the nothing wasn’t bad
Thank you for my something
I was here
It was grand

I can’t say I’m not scared to bend
But I’ll keep singing till the end

My god, I must confess
I look at the lights of of Los Angeles
I look at the streets and I’m sure
That I’m not the first man
Who’s gone and sang this song
But since I started singing it I don’t feel lonely

I wrote this music for you
Each note a searchlight for you
I wrote it all
But you wrote
Me