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The First Music

by Auditorium

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1.
Mt. Moriah 02:29
Ancient police They’re taking your older brother back They’re decking the stack Are you going where the good ones win Waving your freak-out flag Are you waiting for radar and leaves They’re always the ones I count on least They ripped up your jeans Are you breaking down a final court Cooling your skin by force Are you noting the garden I seized I took out the lamb that stole your hat I crippled the bat I was moving with electric rings Trading each bite for stings I was counting on angles and grease To give me the signal to release The sycamore’s keys Are you climbing up a redwood wall Daring that smoke to fall Are you kicking with ancient police They’re taking your older brother back They’re decking the stack Are you going where the good ones win Waving your freak-out flag Are you facing the season that seemed To be seven years of only lean Well, this is your theme For you champions on a far-off slope Know that this jaw’s not broke There’s a dad I saw all alone All alone Calling Mt. Moriah on the telephone All alone All alone Calling Mt. Moriah on the telephone Why, ancient police, there’s no hero left for your knives
2.
My grandfather He could make the world dance With a smile he could light up any life I know I’m lucky that I knew him at all But on a night like this It would be nice to know the secret of the way he smiled I like to think that he could teach me, and I’d learn But you can’t teach love, and so I Want to go where the people know me I want to sing where they already know my song But if my grandfather was here with me He would tell me that the song I’m singing’s wrong He’d remind me that the greatest joy Is bringing hope into a stranger’s eyes, and then Calling them your friend, and so I Look at all of the angry people I look at them and I break Because I know if more people only learned that smile If no reason was enough to seal your mind I know it’s not as if we’d all happy But if the cost is kindness, just give in He would call you friend My grandmother says That she told him that she’d never marry again But his eyes just twinkled and he said: “Dance, dance, dance, dance, my baby Dance, dance, dance, dance, your whole life long Dance, dance, dance, dance, my baby Dance, dance, dance, dance, your rhythm strong” I keep getting older But I’m aging to your heartbeat
3.
The strangest words I’ve heard you sigh Were on the day your true love died You said: “It’s only God. It’s only God. It’s only God, I swear.” I never dreamed I’d draw his stare But now it seems I can’t hide anywhere Oh no He’s in your eyes He haunts your cries It’s only God, I swear Oh, my dear, I get lonely without you I get so down, yes I get so down, that I get so scared I spend all my days singing about you Singing till I’m numb, ripping out my lungs Wondering if you’re there You gave the trees I’d give my knees I’d give you anything you wanted All I want is what I need It’s only God, I swear I keep hoping I’ll change But there’s nothing I can do Life is what I lived when I had you
4.
Every morning There sounds a warning Telling me that I can’t take what’s mine But I have a teacher, and I believe her She says that my grades are built to shine Not a cloud in sight This day might still be mine I was down in the men’s room Drinking your perfume Spinning while the waiter served you wine He was a boyfriend Someone she loved when she had yet to meet the man Whose mind tricked all the doctors Bribed all the proctors Celebrated while the natives signed I am emotion Behold my devotion It’s 5’10” with a wicked curve Not a cloud in sight This day might still be mine Not a cloud in sight You see this day might still be, it will be mine Now please, sun, prove it to me Sun, give it to me Sun, show ‘em how you’re only warm for me (It’s just an ordinary evil of mine) Now see, sun, say, “I’m only” Sun, say, “I’m every” Sun, you better promise you won’t set on me I know beauty has a window See, I broke it just to drink you
5.
Ten Ton Park 01:57
Ten ton soldiers ripping up boulders Take me to the park I give you Eight pound shoulders, holy joke rollers Pound me on the back I leave you Three charms Lets put ‘em on Prairie dog searchlights My favorite wand I’m casting out five man bird songs Hologram headlongs Whistling “The Western Wide-eye” Six man steel drums banging out pilgrims Clocking out at 5 of 5 Now when I say, “Go” You better break, break, break Break for Abraham And when I say, “No” You better fake, fake, fake Fake your weaker hand Four fine wheel-backs Glowing like Ajax Lifting up the eastern skyline Fifteen fingers mother delivered Waiting to be soaked in lime I tried stone It was richer It was thicker than I want to be So I tried bone It was rhythm It was given It was part of me Ten ton soldiers ripping up boulders Take me to the park I give you Here I go Maybe I was there Maybe I’m the plan I was leasing your chance I was moving my force below I was coming around Everyone I grew was here My state tree Take me to the park It’s mine
6.
Rock and rollers, raise your hands The President wants to join your band He’s only played for a year or two But he’s already so much better than you I’m no prophet I’m no sage But it don’t take one to feel all your rage I’ve heard speeches for nights But I built that stage So hand me the mic Turn the lights on bright And I’ll show you all how freedom rings I got one dead arm and one dead leg But I’ll keep dragging both until I’m dead I don’t long for pity I don’t need revenge No, like a captain might Who has lost his fight But been saved while his great love sank beneath I pray: Fire fire ocean liner It’s okay to sink my dear Someday, one day, I’ll be with you Feel no pain now Feel no fear One June twilight I strolled through the neighborhood where I met you I looked into our window Where a family moved the air we shared And as I watched what I almost had I dreamt the stripes came off that flag And wrapped their arms around my back And lifted me so high That I had to try To reach the stars they’d tried to flee I saw all the friends I’d ever have Oh, the land stretched out like Pharaoh’s hand And though I knew I’d never understand the plan There wasn’t one thing I saw beneath that sky That made me give up on my peace I prayed: Fire fire ocean liner It’s okay to sink my dear Someday, one day, I’ll be with you Know that I am marching towards you Chanting the last words I told you Feel no pain now Feel no fear Feel no pain now Feel no fear
7.
I'm so scared But oh, I came prepared The world shakes It always takes me a long time To prove I’m steady But I say bring it down on me All your days and nights I’ve been waiting Standing square Where have you been? I’m right here Yes, I came prepared I came prepared Oh god, I’m scared But I came prepared
8.
I’ve heard said that sadness is The hardest thing to bend But I think hope is harder It’s the one thing I can’t end I can build a steeple I can climb my uncle’s tree But I can’t shake this feeling That there’s more that I could be I was once a legend, I could skip the farthest stone But all the ones I skipped came back They won’t leave me alone They say I got promise They say no limit but sky But most of them have never had the spit to even try It’s better to never know That you could reach what’s far Than fail after the foreign touch Of what you really are I can build a steeple I can climb my uncle’s tree But I can’t shake this feeling That there’s more that I could be
9.
Choose me…choose me... Never wrote a diver a poem Never killed a candle in a poet’s home Never let a digger retire Never helped a builder learn the dirt’s a liar Perfection, I’m giving you up Selection, I’m begging you reward my trust I’ve learned “truly” is a word that inspires “Hardly” is a word that I have long retired “Every” is a word that I plead “Kindly” is a word that makes me doubt my deeds Protection, I’m giving you up Correction, I’m stating that I’m right enough If it’s direction that’s holding me up Confession will be the lesson that I trust Because once in a generation They make someone like me for the licked to follow Choose me…choose me... Never wrote a diver a poem I was only 18 when I learned they’d follow Never wrote a diver a poem I was only 18 when I learned they’d follow I’ll reach back for you You’ll be sharing my glory I’ll reach back for you You’ll be sharing soon Everything I’d never do
10.
On the night before I turned thirteen I said some words before I went to sleep I wasn’t sure what I believed But they seemed right to me So I said softly: “Bless the good ones and please bless the weak Tomorrow I swear I shall try and see How very nearly perfect I can be” I closed my eyes And suddenly It’s 1943 I’m in the snow It’s night You’re lying where they said you’d be I place your hand in mine and say: “You’re only just a few years older They always say I have your eyes I’ve always pictured you in black and white” That makes you smile Then, you say softly: “Do you think that you could stay here with me For even just a little while?” I say: “I’m here forever, I’m with you” He says: “Me too” And suddenly The night sinks down It’s all around us Years are screaming by The morning comes And then another Still I’m holding tight I still say words Before I sleep I’m still not sure what I believe Now, Sleep Sleep Sleep.
11.
I'm Home 00:57
Sometimes, when I can’t sleep I go out in the moonlight Tilt my head, raise arms, and spin around Like The Rolling Stones, I keep going Then, I turn and face my house And try to believe that I can believe But I can’t believe I’m home
12.
Nor'easter 01:36
It’s big It’s dark It’s terrible It doesn’t seem to have an end But you...you’re a beginning So let’s make plans Maybe form a band There’s a split There’s a sign There’s a movement in the pines There’s our warmth There’s our hold There’s our motto: “Fuck the cold” They’re saying that the rain’s pure 12% more than they saw in ‘99 I say we get a 12-pack Saranac And drink ‘em like they’re Northern Lights It’s gonna be a long wait But we won’t leave till the end It’s gonna be a long wait But we won’t leave till the end Tell Pete Tell your sister Check this sermon I spoke (Sugar, sugar, I go) No words No redeemer Just a fever and smoke (Sugar, sugar, I go) It’s big It’s dark It’s terrible But there’s still a chance
13.
Mother and father, tell me true When you first held each other’s hands and knew That the hand you were holding was for you Did your heart shake like this song? When I spoke to my sister, she was wise Said she trusted my heart but not my mind So I put all my faith in blood and cried And my heart shook like this song Yes, my heart shook like this song Oh, how am I ever gonna love you If I do all of my living without giving it to you? Look at my hands, they’re the hands of a preacher Sure his sermon’s gonna change today Look at my lips, they’re the lips of a dreamer Free at last to say the words they’ve saved I told her “Come closer” We stepped inside a memory Flickering and old We stepped inside an old room We’d always known Our parents on the left side Brother on the right My sister in the center saying, “Be bold” And all of our nights will be nights worth living And all of our songs will be songs worth singing And all of our hopes will be hopes worth dreaming And all of our lives I’ll be right there living Let’s take our cue from truth It’s hot in here It’s hotter than an angel Once we leave this room It’s you and me Let’s sing because we’re able to Mother and father, tell me true When you first held each other’s hands and knew That the hand you were holding was for you Did your heart shake like this song? One day I’ll hold you We’ll be old All our years stretched behind us, full and bold And we’ll speak of the night our song got told Oh, we’ll hold each other long While we both shake like our song
14.
I’ve been told my eyes Can be fixed to see right The whole wide world sharp as a knife But I’ve spent my whole life stumbling fine And you’ve no idea how well I see you Look in my eyes Are they focused on you? Tell the truth Lights go out Your move I’ve spent my whole life stumbling fine What did I tell you? I said I’d make it What did I tell you? I said I’d make it mine What did I tell you? I said I’d make it What did I tell you? I said I’d make it I was right
15.
The Singer 04:28
The first music that was made Was probably coming from a man in pain Probably dreaming of a girl Who ripped his whole heart open wide Left him for the ages singing But lonely My god, I must confess I look at the lights of Los Angeles I look at the streets and I’m sure That I’m not the first man Who’s gone and sang this song But since I started singing it I don’t feel lonely True, I’m blowing my lines True, I’m always claiming That even if the words are wrong The only thing that matters Is nailing the feeling I know I have to die But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try To fill the moments while I’m alive With all the music I feel inside When you’re around me, I’m alive Hang on, children — we’re alive Hang on, pilgrims — we’re alive Hang on, seekers — we’re alive Hang on, losers — we’re alive Hang on, heartbreak — we’re alive Hang on, sickness — we’re alive Hang on, anger — we’re alive Hang on, broken — we’re alive Even a hundred years of pain’s worth this ride Nine, ten breaths I can’t believe I’ve even had one breath That was all mine I learned When I was five That I’d have an ending No bow No curtain call No velvet descending They said that all flesh had battled But kid, the clocks clinched every war I said, “Maybe I’ll be the one who can’t be ended Maybe I’ll be the one who can not fall” But as I grew I slowly found myself aware for once and all That I could not be helped Yet, the strangest hope Began to cloak me in my dreams I could sense the darkness I was in before I’d breathed I was once the nothing And the nothing wasn’t bad Thank you for my something I was here It was grand I can’t say I’m not scared to bend But I’ll keep singing till the end My god, I must confess I look at the lights of Los Angeles I look at the streets and I’m sure That I’m not the first man Who’s gone and sang this song But since I started singing it I don’t feel lonely I wrote this music for you Each note a searchlight for you I wrote it all But you wrote Me

credits

released January 27, 2017

all instruments/vocals by Spencer Berger

written, recorded, and mixed by Spencer Berger
mastered by Pete Lyman, Infrasonic Mastering
album cover by Will Baker

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Auditorium Los Angeles, California

Spencer Berger makes music and puts it here.

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